I have been feeling like I have no idea what I am doing each day.
In this thing called parenting.
When the same issues keep resurfacing -
no one is sleeping, no one seems to listen to me, everyone seems to be picking on another...
I have no idea what to do. Nothing I have ever tried in the past seems to be changing things.
I don't know how to be the good mom I want to be.
I wonder how to do right by my children.
And I know I should not be listening to myself.
Someone else is trying to speak truth to me.
Yet I seem to love the sound of my own angry voice.
He doesn't give up, though.
He keeps pressing in with His love.
I hear an answer faintly as I read some of my regular blogs.
"You need to abide in Me."
I come to a breaking point again,
& I wonder, what am I doing so wrong to mess up everyday?
I pick up the book a friend lent to me a couple months ago & finally crack it open.
I hear His voice stronger now. "Come to Me, you weary daughter."
"Come drink from My well of grace."
I sit in the pew at church & listen.
His voice is right in my ear & I can hear nothing else.
"Cast your care at my feet. I am listening. Are you?
All the power you need for your daily calling is found in Me."
I bow my neck that is rather stiff (from nursing all the time?) & say, "Yes, now I am."
When I listen, I hear Him remind me all day long,
"Abide in Me, & I will give you what you need.
I am him who is able to do immeasurably more
than all you ask or imagine,
according to My power that is at work within you."
p.s. a favorite quote from the book, Spiritual Parenting -
"...parent in a way that does not simply spend hours
but also allows [you] to invest [your] days toward eternity."