Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Love is Easy, Love is Hard (a letter to my children)

Dear children,

You may have heard people say that marriage is hard.  
I've heard it a lot.  But, I think something else needs to be said.

Real love can be hard.  It is true.  
But, think that choosing noto love is harder.
Love is hard & Love is easy.




How can that be? 
the thing about love is, it means getting off thacomfortable seat where you may be sitting 
by yourself, & trying to let everything stay the same.
In order to love well, you need to think of others.  
You can't put yourself first.
Love is simple.  Love is considering the other.
And love is hard.  We wanto look out for our own interests.

Love is easy, though.  
Iturns out, sitting by yourself, in the corner, doing whatever you want,
is not all that lovely.
It is lonely.  Everything little thing that you do can seem lifeless.  
Complete drudgery.
Add another to the mix & pour on the love and things get a whole lot brighter.
Love makes things easier.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love is not easily angered.
Love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things.

You remember the story of the giving tree?
He loved the boy so much, that even though the tree gave all of himself, it was easy.
From the outside looking in, people may look at you loving 
& say, "wow, how very hard that is!"
Buto you, in the midst of acting in love it may be like the easiesthing in the world.

Shall I give an example?
When your Dad drops the bomb on me that it is necessary for him 
to work a bunch of extra hours in the next several days, 
the firsthing I thought was how much I was bummed for myself.  
And I got a little miffed about it all.  And I sat silently pouting.
Was that easy?  Not really.  I had to be mad at him & be grumpy & all that.
When I (finally) stopped being irritated about it 
& started loving him well & caring about him, 
it all became a whole lot easier.

Do you wanto know an easy love someday?  
Do this now - learn to put others first.
And someday when you are considering someone, 
with whom you may wanto spend the rest of your life with, 
consider if that person is marked by selflessness.

You may find that love is easy. 




As seems true so often, 
Teresa of Calcutta said all this way better than I have just done, needing only a few words.
"I have found the paradox: 
If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

5 comments:

Nessa Bixler said...

Thank you Erin... in a long stretch of my husband working so many hours and I was getting down about it. Being selfish about it really. Thanks.

Nicola said...

Beautiful, Erin. Love the post. I have a hard time not being grumpy when Lucas is gone for weeks at a time and it just shows me once again how I'm so selfish. But I love the thought and am striving to teach our children now while they are young to love without selfishness.
Love the pictures of you and Scott.

Charlotte said...

Erin, you have the gift of writing. This was so beautifully put, and so convicting.

It also gave me inspiration to write to my kids on my blog....they read it all the time and we all look back at what i have written in past years to reminisce.

And the photos are amazing...

Nikki said...

I really love this Erin! Thank you so much for sharing it. You've got it nailed down just right...that is exactly how it works. Loved reading this.

Vanessa said...

I really, really loved this. Thank you for sharing!! <3

P.S. Can you tell I am catching up on your blog?!?